I was wondering when I would be fired for taking too long to adjust to committed 9-5(ish) jobs. Then yesterday, one of my bosses handed me the keys to the office & said that all the bosses were going outstation till Friday. I had to handle an entire project all on my own.

Deadline’s tomorrow.

How did I get from get-out to get-ze-keys? It’s thrilling (office to myself!), but I’m obviously a wee bit panicked, thinking that maybe this is my do-or-die test. The job isn’t all that difficult, just that the deadline is tight and I have to liaise with several morons (my boss told me to be a bitch with them, I paraphrase obviously).

Moron case 1, a telephone call.

Me: … So I’ll need your email address, to send you the important adjustments you’ll have to make to the design.
Her: Ok. m-e-r-i-s-s-a-@-(hercompanyname).com.my
Me: Let me repeat that.
Me: Let me repeat that.
Me: So, one last time…

I guess her name really was Merissa (for any Merissas out there, sorry, it’s just an uncommon name for me to be introduced to over the phone). I then email her and go off for my lunch break. I come back and there’s a mailer daemon in my inbox. So, redial.

Me: Did I get your email address right? I just found out it bounced back. Is it m-A-r-i-s-s-a-@(hercompanyname).com.my?
Her: Ya hor that’s what I said leh.
Me: LIARS GO TO HELL

So I didn’t say that. But honestly, I have a deadline tomorrow. I wasted an hour. It has to be done today. And the person I’m forced to count on can’t even spell her own name.

I said ‘case 1′ up there, so there’s another rant after the jump. Not at work but lunch break. I was enjoying myself at the cafe I usually go to for lunch. Lovely quiet place, lots of wooden fixtures, Johnny Cash piped in the speakers today, I usually read while waiting for my food. Lunch set comes with ice cream dessert, with rainbow sprinkles. I love the place. And while reading there today I laughed out loud at one part of the text.

Apparently a woman a(n empty) table away from me decided to take this as her cue to interrupt and said “YES I do that too!”

Me: Excuse me?
Case2: Laugh out loud while reading. What book is that?
Me: Emotional lives of animals.
Case2: I’m sorry what?
Me: Anim—
Case2: Oh! Okay! Blablabliddyblayakkityyak, a, b, c, d, e, f, g…
(one hour later)
Case2: Anyway I’ve really got to be heading back, it’s been great talking to you, SO REFRESHING to meet someone so young with GREAT conversational skills!
Me: (Commend my heroic ATTEMPTS to converse why don’t you. I barely got 3 words in.)
Case2: Soo here’smycard bye! OMG Klaus don’t pay for me! Don’t you dare! Don’t you DARE!
Me: If you want to pay so badly, you could always foot my bill.
Case2: Darling you’re witty!
Me: *cheeks sore from smiling*
Case2: Later! *waddles away*
Johnny Cash: Haha. I went through an entire album beeyotch but you didn’t hear jack.

I know this might be an atypical entry, & I might follow my temptation to delete it later. I really did have other things I wanted to write about, but I came back from lunch ranting. Off to make more phone calls to Marissa. Names have been changed to protect the retarded, but the A, E, A, E error-to-compute still remains.