(salvaged from a college notepad)

I saw a kitten outside my flat this morning as I left for class. It looked like it was asleep, but I’ve seen enough to know better.

(Someone told me later that last night, it rained heavily and for some reason or another there were kittens, lots of them, hanging around right outside the flats seeking shelter.)

God help me, my eyes were riveted. I couldn’t look away.

I kept on looking, even as a crow flew in, I kept on looking.

Everything was so innocent, like a children’s story.
The pretty ’sleeping’ kitten, the dark and curious crow swooping in to dance around it. To hop in sober yet excited circles round and round it.

Wake up, kitty, wake up

And it approaches, playfully pulls at the kitten’s tail. Flies off and comes back, pecking the paws gently this time.

Flies off and

Come on, play with me

comes back.

The crow pretends to be Prince Charming like the kitten is pretending to be Sleeping Beauty and gives it a kiss on the mouth with its black beak.

(kiss)

Still nothing. It gets impatient.

Perhaps we could paint that sort of emotion onto the crow, impatient and increasingly angry. Why not. And to continue our story, it gets frustrated.

it-LEAPS-onto-the-kitten-in-a-claw-HUG-a-tight-TIGHT-claw-hug-to-keep-it-still-and-leans-in
like-a-kiss-number-two-only-that-he-SHAKES-his-head-and-pecks-no-DIGS-out-eyeball-left
and-eyeball-right-since-the-kitten-will-NEVER-be-waking-up-again.

no you’ll never wake up with those eyes again

And it doesn’t stop, it lets go sometimes to dance around the kitten some more but it doesn’t stop and I am still there I still cannot pull away for the life of me I stand there absolutely unmoving as the crow dives in again

and goes straight for the heart.

I left when the wanton glee got too loud for my ears. When the rigor mortis snaps and the black beak claps got my legs to move and my eyes to (finally) look away. My body sighed with relief to be walking again. I only looked over my shoulder once.
I wanted to film it all I wanted to scare it away I wanted to pack the kitten into a soil bed goodnight I wanted to make it in time for the bus I wanted to not be late for class but above all I wanted a part of that up there with me forever in film or in photos because oh God as grotesque as it was I wanted to remember what it did to my mind and what it made me see and feel and not feel.

A crow decided to feast on a dead kitten ran over by some random car yesterday.
I was there. I saw it.

See, I could’ve just written that instead.

What a way to start the day.