This was submitted for a competition (but I didn’t get the free tickets)

R U still in 2 it? I know I am.

I generally stay at home. It’s all I can afford, I’m no royalty like Herod. I’m so sick of it that I want to tell people Stop Coming To My House and take me somewhere nice instead.

I know travel is dangerous, but after being stuck indoors so long, I would love to go out, y’know. Trace new paths to Helicon. I have better things to twist my knickers over than to wonder if I’ll be hunted by a freak or get tummy rumbles from acid food.

I’ll wear me some Kappa, have myself a secret pint with my close encounters and be a friend of the night. Think I can’t do it? It’ll be easy, because I’m no radar maker. My housecat face is so non-descript you won’t even see my cheery wave from stranded youngsters in the hall. You won’t see me as the music starts and I auto rock, dance christmas steps & wrestle the Glasgow Mega-Snake I never thought I’d be able to witness. Names? irrelevant. Katrien, Tracy, Cody, ex-cowboy, BMX superstar with portfolio. We’re no here.

Are you going to the Mogwai concert? I bet you are. I know you are but what am I? I want to say that I am a long way from home (yes!). But only you guys can let me say that. It’s a team handed answer & helps both ways.

R U still in 2 it? I know I am.

Mogwai fear Satan right? Well all I’m asking is a chance to find out why.

May nothing but happiness come,
dizzy