playing: Esthero - I Drive Alone

It was a scary, slow, and very wet drive. In the silence my Kelisa skated & slid, & I realised this mad sort of peace amidst the little bits of fear. It was punctuated by bright flashes in the sky, the fact that I was driving alone with the radio off, & it got me singing & thinking more than I have in a long long time.

Several hasty monologues recorded on my phone, loose thoughts tied together with my inadequate voice. When I pulled up to park, I stayed in the car a little while longer, still singing, talking for no one. I hadn’t felt so much like myself in a very long time. So it wasn’t lost in the study books. I could hear myself smiling in the playbacks.

Last night was a start. To be alone in the rain and happy in a way that I thought was a distant memory. What relief. Now I’m not worried about any of these tomorrows anymore.

PS: Heavy rain has this amusing way of simultaneously slowing down cars & speeding up walking people. I can’t help but wonder how it’d look like from an aerial point of view.